A Dog Named Rex & A Journey of Discovery

I recently came across a photo that I took in May 1950. I was sitting on the back steps of our home in Velasco, Texas. I was twelve years old. From those steps you could see our church house and the town's water tower. Guess what got my attention that day? It was Rex. I don't know if he was upset with me or just in deep thought (indulge me on this one). As a young boy, I would often sit on those steps. During the war years the steps served as my fighter plane in imaginary battles over Europe and the islands of the Pacific. As I grew older, I would sit on the steps and think about things that were happening in my life. The last time I sat on those steps was when I was 26 - November 22, 1963 to be exact - the day President Kennedy was shot. I had just finished a three year tour in the Air Force. I was thinking about the direction of my life - how it was all going to play out. This photograph brought back those memories. Now it is 45 years later. I find myself sitting on those steps again. Of course, not literally; but in my mind.

This past year has been a significant one. It was my first year of retirement. We moved to a totally new location, became members of a new church and I was 70. In the midst of all of that I was looking for God or that is how it seemed. I thought I was having to redefine my life. Actually it was God who was doing it. Several months ago, something began to happen in my life and in my walk with God. I can't fully explain it; but it was like I was on a journey of discovery - finding out things about my life and about what should matter most. This is what it began to look like. For a large part of my 70 years I have been absorbed with my own life - very reflective in my thinking - like what I feel about myself; and what God feels or thinks about me. Sixty two years ago God had given me the only thing I would ever need; the only thing that should have consumed my life, thoughts, emotions, and will. It was Jesus Christ; but over time it was like my understanding of Him was becoming a dream and not a reality - like I was the one holding on and struggling to make it real. I am afraid that this experience may be true for many. For some it is easier to stop struggling - just surrender - without pressing on and finding answers. I want to say more about this battle later.

For the last year, through searching, praying, pleading, the prayers of my wife, the words of our pastor, Matt Chandler, the words of Josh Patterson, the music of Michael Bleecker, all of The Village Church and the writings of men like John Piper, God has confronted me with this issue - making the Lord, as the psalmist says in Psalm 16:5, my chosen portion and cup. It is as if I have, in some way, returned to that day when, as a 9 year old boy, God's call finally penetrated my heart and I received His gift - His Son, Jesus Christ. I have this strong sense that I am getting to understand some things in ways that I have missed. Here is where it gets even more amazing. Several months ago I read some words by T. S. Eliot and by G. K. Chesterton.

"We shall not cease from exploration and the end of our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time." (T. S. Eliot)

"Every discovery is a sort of homecoming; and because every homecoming is a discovery, there is an element of delight and surprise in every instant of it." (G. K. Chesterton)

I thought, could this be what is happening to me. In this journey of discovery is God bringing me back to the place where I started that Sunday morning at age 9? I know this sounds strange. It is unlike anything I have ever experienced. I know you can't go back - or can you? Just to think that it may be possible, at this point in my life, to go back to the place where I started and know "the place for the first time" is too good to be true. Then I read these words from Jeremiah 29:10-14.

"For thus says the Lord: When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will visit you, and I will fulfill to you my promise and bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord..."

As I looked at the picture of my dog Rex and the calmness of my world on that spring-like day in 1950, it was sort of a homecoming for me; but nothing compared to coming home in a spiritual sense to the place that I thought had long since passed - a place with a future and a hope; a place where opportunities abounded; a place where I could find the Lord because He said I could. I see that happening. I am no longer sitting on the back steps. I am standing on the threshold. What will I do now? There is only one thing to do - call upon Him; seek Him with all my heart. Please pray that I will do that.

The picture from the back steps and a dog named Rex may not resonate with you as it did for me. God used those memories as a young boy and the powerful words of Jeremiah 29 as part of my journey of discovery. Each life is different. I pray that our life together becomes one of discovery of the vastness of the treasures of the divine life that is ours. I pray that God will use something in your life to cause you to return to the place you started and know it for the first time. I will pray that every discovery we make will become an experience of delight, surprise and wonder because of the One we will be discovering.

“Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®, copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.”

A Little History and the Start of My Amen Journey

If I had to chose a start for my "amen journey" I could say Huntsville, Texas. That was the town of my birth and the place Sam Houston called home. I could also say Velasco, Texas. That is where my parents and I moved to in 1941 and that is where I lived with my parents and my sister until I left for college in 1955. Velasco was founded in 1831. In 1836, following the battle of San Jacinto, it was made the first capital of the Republic of Texas. On July 27, 1957 it was incorporated with Freeport, the town on the other side of the old Brazos River as it was called. In my early years, I had the privilege of living in those historical towns. I guess when you stop and think just about any were you live in Texas is historic. I would choose, however, Velasco as the start of that journey. It had special historical significance for me. The reason is found in this picture. This was the meeting place of the First Baptist Church of Velasco. It was the second building on this site to serve as our place to meet and worship together. The first building burned to the ground. I still have memories of that. It was in this building on a Sunday morning in the summer of 1946 that I accepted God's gift of grace - Jesus Christ. Some describe that moment when you make your faith in Christ public as "walking the aisle" or "going to the front." Those phrases bothered me then and still do. I really didn't think in those terms. There was one thought on my mind in that moment. It is found in John 3:16 - "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him shall be saved." There had been another thought that had gripped my life. It was one of resistance. For a number of months I had been under deep conviction about the state of my life. I knew that God was calling me. But I was also being subjected to something I didn't understand at the time. Satan was violently opposing that call. I hate to even write this but it is true. In the days before God's irresistible call prevailed, I began to use God's name in ways that still cause me to shudder. Nine years old and I was using God's name in cursing. I began to think, how can I ever be saved after talking like that. That was Satan's plan. I have to admit he evidently had a place to attack - my self will. That has been a problem for me through out my life; but that is a story that will have to wait for another time. Finally on that Sunday morning, God's grace prevailed. One of many things that is so amazing to me about His grace is that I didn't have to have all the answers or understand His sovereign work in the life of a lost sinner. I didn't have to understand the great, comforting truths of election and justification. I could just believe in Him - just as He said in that memorable verse, John 3:16. But that is not the only thing that is amazing. It is amazing, too, that this is all some want to know - that they are apparently content to live much of their without having God open the vast treasure of the gospel of Jesus Christ and fill their life with the wonder of Jesus; to live without, as our pastor Matt Chandler has said, "reflecting the grace and mercy He has shown to us" or not willing to stop "trading water for gold in the desert." I can't say that this has not described large portions of my life because it has. I don't know the span of life that God has given me; but I do know that deep within my heart I want to take the time God has given me and allow Him to open the eyes of my heart to understand the vastness of His love and grace. I want to stop trading living water for gold in the desert I want Him to fill my life with a love for Christ beyond anything I can imagine. I want to live beyond myself as His instrument of love and grace to others. That is the kind of "amen journey" that I want - one that never says "amen" in the sense of closing; but "amen" in the sense of "yes" to God. That is what I know I am powerless to have unless He does that in and through me. That is where the struggle will occur. If you are reading this, then you have just received my prayer request. I will pray this for you. You can pray this for me. This will let us walk together on the "amen journey."

“Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®, copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.”

Our Amen Journey in Song - Our Affirmation, Commitment & Desire

Since I am new to the world of blog, I didn't know how to post the song "I Then Shall Live" with comments. Now I want to share some thoughts about what this song means to Betty and me. The music is "Finlandia" by Jean Sibeluis. In 1980, I believe, Gloria Gaither wrote the lyrics. There is a hymn based on the same music - "Be Still My Soul." The video recording is by the Gaither Vocal Band and Ernie Haase & Signature Sound. I wanted you to be able to look at the lyrics and reflect.

"I then shall live as one who's been forgiven
I'll walk with joy to know my debts are paid
I know my name is clear before my Father
I am His child and I am not afraid
So greatly pardoned, I'll forgive my brother
The law of love, I gladly will obey

I then shall live as one who's learned compassion
I've been so loved, I'll risk loving, too
I know how fear builds walls instead of bridges
I'll dare to see another's point of view
And when relationships demand commitment
Then I'll be there to care and follow through

Your Kingdom come around and through and in me
Your Power and Glory, let them shine through me
Your Hallowed Name, oh may I bear with honor
And may Your living Kingdom come in me
The Bread of Life, oh may I share with honor
And may You feed a hungry world through me
Your Kingdom come around and through and in me..."

I called this our "Amen Journey in Song." It expresses our affirmation, commitment and desire - not necessarily the way it has always been. What a tall order - totally unachievable without the Father's help and without the prayers of our friends. I didn't post this as a spiritual merit badge. It is here, in part, for purposes of accountability. I have been reading a book by Dr. David Jeremiah entitled "God in You." It is about releasing the power of the Holy Spirit in your life. That is what we need to be true to this commitment. We are on a journey. That means we haven't arrived. It also means we do not want to put our life on cruise control and sit back to enjoy the scenery. One regret that I have is that I didn't see 62 years ago that this new life in Christ had to be lived with purpose and intensity. So now at age 71, I see that with more clarity than I ever have. Is that a waste? Some might say "Yes." I can say that if I choose to dwell on what might have been. In his book, "God in You," Dr. Jeremiah spoke about having dreams greater than our memories. With God's help, we choose greater dreams. Dr. Jeremiah concluded with this prayer:

"Holy Spirit of God, take control of my life. Sit in the place of power. Pull the switches. Do Your work. Lord, I just want to be available. Holy Spirit, I will be your suit of clothes. Walk around in my body. Speak through my lips. Empower me to be what I cannot be in my self. I ask You to cleanse me from my sin, O God, and fill now to overflowing. And I ask it in the name of Jesus."

This is our prayer.

Our Amen Journey in Song

My Amen Journey

I have thought about blogging for some time but never could think of a title - so why this one? At first it was just "Amen." I knew how I normally used the word "amen" and that would make it sound more like the end of the effort than the beginning. So I looked up the word "amen" in "Vine's Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words." I am not a Greek or Hebrew anything when it comes to those languages so I will just quote from Vine's.

"Amen is transliterated from Hebrew into both Greek and English. Its meanings have been seen in such passages as Deuteronomy 7:9 - 'the faithful (the Amen) God,' and in Isaiah 65:16, 'the God of truth or the God of Amen.' There are cases where people use it to express their assent to a law and their willingness to submit to the penalty attached to the breach of it, Deuteronomy 27:15. It is also used to express acquiescence in another's prayer, 1 Kings 1:36 where it is defined as '(let) God say so too,' or in another's thanksgiving, 1 Chronicles 16:36. Once in the New Testament 'Amen' is a title of Christ, Revelation 3:14, because through Him the purposes of God are established, 2 Corinthians 1:20. The individual says 'Amen' to express, 'let it be so' in response to the Divine 'thus it shall be,' Revelation 22:20. The Lord Jesus often used 'Amen' translated 'verily' to introduce new revelations of the mind of God."

I have been praying that God would give me a title for this new venture. As I read from Vine's, I began to see that the word "Amen" would be one to help me stay focused on God as "the God of Truth" and Christ as the preeminent One through whom we have access to God and the truth of God, His Word - of God as the One who says "thus it shall be" and of His desire for one who will say, "let it be so in my life." One of the greatest needs in my life is to say to the Lord and His Word, on a daily basis, "let it be so in my life." Then I thought how experiencing and sharing these truths, along with many more from God's Word, make for an incredible journey - like an amen journey. So with this first post I begin a new phase in my journey with God and I invite all who read this to join me in that journey. I close this first post by saying "thank you" to my wife, Betty, for her prayers and for her encouraging me to write. I love you, Betty, and I am glad you are on this journey with me.