For a long time it was never clear in my mind why, as a 9 year old boy, I believed in Jesus. Was it because a human being convinced me that was what I needed to do? What part did my will or the will of man have in my salvation? Over time there were more questions; but I basically just accepted the traditional views about salvation without ever having a clear understanding about why I believed. Regrettably, most of what I understood was a mixture of different teachings, opinions and inferences of others. I realize now that a lot of those ideas did not square with the plain statements of Scripture. They didn't seem to start with Scripture.
I am thankful that in the midst of my "amen journey" of discovery and some deep spiritual struggles that I have experienced this past year, God has caused me to ask this question and seek answers. As a result I have gained new and fresh understanding about my salvation. It is not new truth; but it is new, clear and personal to me. One of the most welcomed things that happened was being able to separate the exercise of faith in Jesus Christ from the act of openly expressing that faith during the invitation time of our church that Sunday morning in 1946. Some time before that open expression, I began to see Jesus and the truth of my "salvation verse," John 3:16



I also understand now that what I saw in that salvation moment was just meant to be the beginning. I missed the fact that my whole life was to become one of constantly seeing in a deeper and deeper way the beauty, loveliness and worth of Jesus - that Jesus was supposed to become the devotion of my life; that I was to see and live upon the basis of His total sufficiency for my life; and that I was supposed to see Him through the eyes of faith. I know there were times that I did see Him in this way. I just did not fully understood the significance of what I was seeing and why it was so critical to the purpose of my new life in Christ - to know and enjoy the glory of God; and to make the most of Him in all things. Much of this struggle has been directly related to the fact that I did not have a clear, personal understanding that Jesus alone is the Lord of my salvation. Had that been true, I would not have wasted years living on the basis of the weakness of human understanding and explanations. I would not have been so earth bound when it came to the source of faith and the exercise of faith. I would have experienced the truth of 2 Corinthians 3:18

This journey of discovery has been a gift from God. So have the messages that I have heard over the last year and a half at The Village Church - messages that have caused me to focus on the beauty, worth and value of Jesus and the need to press hard after Him. I have learned some awesome things about God's sovereignty - especially as it relates to salvation. I am beginning to understand in a much clearer and personal way why God has accepted me. Over the years I have been beaten down as I have focused on "my worth" and on the validity of "my faith." I should have focused on the person of Jesus, His righteousness and worth and upon Him as the Lord of my salvation.
As I began to think about the question expressed in the title of this post I had intended to get right to the point. I was not sure why my focus turned to Jesus; but then I should have known especially after I read these words by Jonathan Edwards. He said, "This sense of the beauty of Christ is the beginning of true saving faith in the life of a true convert." My first question was "How can this be?" I then came to realize that the answer lies in the source of the new sense and awareness of the beauty of Christ. It means something dramatically happened in my life - like the truth of 2 Corinthians 4:6

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